Making lamb stew in the oven 1
Solar eclipse in Aries, the first energy of the zodiac, and which teaches us about self.
I find that the eclipse themes show up in your life like clockwork if you pay attention. Or perhaps my mind is just so primed for meaning-making.
The energy feels heavy, which can feel good if you let it.
I’m sitting in the sun as I write this. Hot sun on my eyelids; I take breaks to close them, luxuriate in the feeling of a slow burn.
How simple everything is - is - in this state
This eclipse is solar, so a new moon.
Often a wild card, an unexpected new story, making changes where we otherwise wont, concentrated in a singular area of life.
I bought two, fifteen dollar, cold pressed orange juices from whole foods. I told myself, I told multiple people, I wouldn’t do it again, but no orange juice is as good and making my own isn’t consistently worth the effort, so here we spontaneously are, spending the same on orange juice as one does on a cocktail. This has nothing to do with anything so far as I can tell, but I enjoyed the fact of it
Don’t know if I’ll play cards tonight
The other day, a human design person had said to me, “i thought you were just a nice girl Ashley, the girl next door type,” and I remember thinking, how sad. it’s somehow now standard to conflate nice with uninteresting, boring.
There is something which is encoded here about my purpose, and is why it bothered me so much. Not about being nice, but about what’s simple
My red nail polish is chipping and as soon as my nails grow, they continually break, after I damaged them from gels and for the first time I’m suddenly, curiously noticing, I am unbothered, I even kind of like it.
Solar eclipse in Aries — is there some area of life where suddenly, you’re putting yourself - your instinct to individuate - first? Uncaring about social norms, about playing nice at the expense of authenticity?
… I’ve thought, am i in transference, arent i helping, shouldn’t i not be, how do i stop, oh, i dont,
i
just
watch